He paid for the movie, I paid for the drinks. He was attractive. I was nervous.
What did he think of me?
When the movie started, he held my hand. I turned to look at him, he kissed me.
First Date
Published
He paid for the movie, I paid for the drinks. He was attractive. I was nervous.
What did he think of me?
When the movie started, he held my hand. I turned to look at him, he kissed me.
Optimistic Author 
The short sentences work really well for the first half of the story. For contrast, I’d have liked the last sentence to be a little more lyrical, less declarative. “When I turned…, he kissed” vs “I turned… he kissed.”
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I get a strong feeling of what it felt in the moment for the characters. I think the middle paragraph could be taken out and the words used somewhere else (like Christine’s suggestion above). Well done.
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I really enjoyed the short, sharp sentences. I feel that they capture the nervous/excited thoughts that are popping into the speaker’s head in a creative manner. Good job.
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I like the shorter style sentences you used to show the almost clinical way a mind goes through an event like a first date. It was such a sweet-sounding moment, too.
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So short and I loved them.
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